


To The Letter

by radondoran



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Gen, Humor, Role Reversal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-21
Updated: 2009-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-04 22:51:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radondoran/pseuds/radondoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the "Bubble Boys" fiasco, Baljeet is determined to follow today's schedule to the letter.  Too bad he's got Phineas and Ferb's schedule instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To The Letter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nope](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nope/gifts).



**\---8:37 a.m.**

Baljeet could not by any stretch of the imagination be called commanding.  He was well aware that his meek temperament, high voice, academic inclinations, and utter lack of physical prowess made him a natural follower in the social hierarchies of childhood.  He could, however, occasionally summon up a sort of shrill semi-authority, and he drew on this now to face the _de facto_ leaders of the neighborhood:

"Phineas and Ferb," said Baljeet, pacing in front of the pair like a drill sergeant.  "Do you know why I have summoned you here this morning?"

"Nope!"  Phineas would make a very poor soldier.

Baljeet sighed:  it was useless to try to intimidate someone as carefree as Phineas (or, for that matter, someone as unflappable as Ferb).  "Yesterday, I foolishly allowed myself to be distracted by your giant bubble, and your outlandish idea of relaxation.  My carefully-planned schedule was entirely upset."

"But we thought you had fun yesterday."  (A nod from Ferb.)

"Oh, yes!  It was a lot of fun.  I mean--"  He tried to recapture his stern tone.  "That is not the point.  I am determined not to let this happen again, and so I have set aside the first half-hour of my day to explain to you that today, I intend to follow my schedule to the letter.  To the letter!"

"Okay..."

"Ooh!"  Baljeet brightened.  "Also, I wanted to show you my new scheduling software!"  He turned from his captive audience and darted across the bedroom to pull up a program on the desktop computer.  "Check it out--you just put in the things you want to get done, and it will automatically generate a color-coded schedule that is accurate to the minute!"

Phineas and Ferb had followed him.  "Cool--can we try?"

"Well..." Baljeet looked at the wall clock:  the half-hour was not yet up.  "Okay!  Try it out.  It might do you two good to have some structure for once.  Just type it in there..."

Ferb was already tapping away at the keyboard; Phineas, close over his shoulder, was enthusiastic about every entry.  They finished in about a minute, and Baljeet put in the command to print.  He took the first color-coded sheet as it exited the printer, and handed the second to Phineas.

"Well, Ferb," said Phineas, looking at the neatly-arranged blocks of time, "I guess I know what we're gonna do today.  C'mon!"

As the pair left, Baljeet turned his attention to his own schedule.  " 'Eat breakfast.'  Check! And next is . . .  'Make schedule.'  Check!"  He laughed at his own success.  "Good--I am ahead of the game."

**\---9:42 a.m.**

All Baljeet's confidence had vanished, though, by the time Buford came around that morning:  he sat glumly on the porch, alternately staring desperately at his schedule and burying his head in his heads.

"What's up?" Buford asked.  "You look dejected, and I just got here."

"It is my schedule..."

"That again?"

"Look, it says here that this morning, I am supposed to discover something that doesn't exist.  What does that even mean?" Baljeet demanded, waving the schedule.  "If something does not even exist, how can I discover it?  And if I discovered something that doesn't exist, wouldn't that mean that by default, it really _does_ exist?"  He put his head in his hands again.  "I am so confused."

Buford, as usual, remained practical in the face of this ontological dilemma.  "I tell you what," he said.  "How about I grab you by the underpants and throw you up into this tree.  Then you could discover a whole new kind of pain."

"I am not sure that really counts--" Baljeet began to object, but the plan had already been set into motion.  When he regained consciousness after freeing himself from the tree by way of a torn waistband and a long drop, his first words were:  "Discovering something that doesn't exist.  Check!"

**\---9:55 a.m.**

"Oh, hey Phineas!" exclaimed Isabella, who, Fireside Girls in tow, had no doubt been attracted by the crash.  Her face fell as she only caught sight of Buford and Baljeet.  "Oh.  Hey Baljeet.  What are _you_ doing?"

“I am trying to accomplish all of the items on my schedule," Baljeet explained as he shook the dust from his overalls, "but it is very hard!  Some of them are kind of impossible.  ... Maybe you girls can help me?"  He folded his hands in entreaty and gave her his most beseeching smile.  "Pleeease?"

"Well..." Isabella hesitated:  no Fireside Girl should refuse a direct request for assistance, but on the other hand, there was someone she would much rather be assisting...

"I would have asked Phineas and Ferb for help," Baljeet sighed, "but I cannot find them anywhere today."

Isabella perked up immediately.  "Oh, okay!  Then we'd be glad to help you.  What's on the agenda?"

"Well, next I am supposed to find a dodo bird.  But they have been extinct for three hundred years."

"There's a time machine at the museum," said Isabella.

"Perfect!  We can use it to travel to the island of Mauritius circa 1600, find a dodo bird, devise a method of capturing it, bring it back to Danville, and--"

"If you aren't exceptionally particular about its vitality," Gretchen piped in, "there is also a dodo bird at the museum."

"That sounds much quicker."

**\---11:02 a.m.**

"Found it!" said Isabella, pointing out the reconstructed skeleton of a large and rather awkward-looking bird.  She peered at the metal plate beneath it.  "It says here the extinction of the dodo was directly attributable to human activity."

"Impressive," said Buford.

"Finding a dodo bird," said Baljeet aloud.  "Check!"

"So what's next?" Isabella asked as the group walked back toward the museum entrance.

Baljeet pulled out the schedule again and scrutinized the next entry.  "Climb up the Eiffel Tower."

"Climb up the--  Baljeet, are you sure that's _your_ schedule?"  Isabella reached for the paper, but he snatched it away.

"Isabella!  There is no time set aside on my schedule for questioning my schedule!  The only question here is, how are we going to climb up the Eiffel Tower?"

Isabella thought for a moment.  "Hey, don't you have a portal to Mars?" she asked.  "Could you set it to Paris instead?"

"I had one, but now it is on Mars."

"Oh."

"Will that work?" asked Buford abruptly, pointing out a poster on the inside of the door:

"SUMMER FRANCE FESTIVAL IN DANVILLE PARK," it read.  "SCALE REPLICA OF PARIS'S EIFFEL TOWER."

"That," said Baljeet, "will work nicely!"

**\---12:30 p.m.**

"You can do it, Baljeet!" Isabella called from the top of the tower, straining at the rope to pull him up.

"I can't!" he argued.  "I'll never make it!  Just let me drop, like the failure that I am!"

"You've come this far--only a little more!  Come on..."  She handed the end of her sash to another Fireside Girl and strained to reach down for his hand.

"I can't!"

"Yes you can!"  She reached him, and in another long moment, the two had safely reached the platform.

"Climbing up the Eiffel Tower," Baljeet managed when he had got his breath back.  "Check."

"What's next?" asked Buford, from the ground.  They could hear him quite easily--as it turned out, it was only a one-one-hundredth scale replica.

"Lunch!" said Baljeet, climbing easily down the ladder on the other side.

**\---2:13 p.m.**

"Next," began Baljeet, after the group had finished lunching at his house. Then he looked at the schedule and dropped down on the steps, as dejected as he had been that morning.

"What?" asked the Fireside Girls in chorus.  "What is it?"

"Next," he wailed, "next is 'create nanobots'."

"What's the problem?" asked Isabella.  "You can do that, can't you?"

"No!  I can--I could probably _design_ some nanobots, given a few days.  But I do not have the skills to manufacture them, and I am already several hours behind on my schedule.  The only persons who could possibly create nanobots in the next hour would be..."

And as if they had been summoned, Phineas and Ferb walked into the yard.  "Baljeet!" Phineas called, waving a colorful sheet of paper.  "We've been looking all over for you.  I think you picked up our schedule by mistake."

"I had your schedule?" Baljeet echoed in shock.

Ferb had taken Baljeet's schedule, and he and Phineas looked it over.  "Yep!" Phineas confirmed.  "Find a dodo bird, create nanobots?  These are our plans for the day."

"Oh, I get it!" said Baljeet suddenly.  "I had the printer set to Collate!  When I printed out our two schedules, the one that was on the bottom came out first, and I took it instead of you."

"Sorry we didn't come back sooner," added Phineas, almost sheepishly.  "We were having so much fun doing the things on _your_ schedule, we didn't even notice!"

"You were having _fun_?" asked Baljeet.  "With _my_ schedule?"

"Sure!  Like, the first thing was 'organize books,' so we made a new cataloguing system at the library.  You know, with robots.  And it said to practice calculus, so we invented a new sport!"

"It requires precise calculation of trajectories," Ferb elucidated.

"And we went to your polka lesson."

"How did you make that fun?" Baljeet wanted to know.

Phineas blinked.  "That was fun anyway.  In fact, the only reason we realized that there was a mistake at all was because--well, see for yourself."

" 'Two o'clock,' " Baljeet read from his own schedule.  " 'See what Phineas and Ferb are doing.' "  He laughed nervously.  "Well--it's usually interesting."


End file.
